Beliefs!

Hi Guys,

‘Do you believe in God?’ is the question that many people have asked me. I have asked the same question to myself. After lot of debates, I have sort of reached a conclusion. Before, I reveal what my belief is, I would like to write more about beliefs.

My dad often used to say, ‘It is very important to have an unquestionable belief on something. That something maybe God, Astrology, a person, a thought or even self’ It is because, we would always have someone to shoulder upon. If something wrong happens, we can always go back to our belief system and question. You feel comfortable at the end of the day.

More often than not, people try to force their belief systems into you. You might hear comments like, ‘This astrologer is very good and can predict your future’, ‘That temple is very powerful and all your wishes would be granted’, ‘Go and see that Doctor. He is so good’. More often than not, it is based on Psychology. If I don’t believe in something, I don’t. You can’t force me to change in a moment.

To come back to the first question, whether I believe in God, the answer is that ‘I Do’. When I look around the universe, the complicated network of suns, stars, planets and way organisms have evolved, I think God is there. There is something mysterious around all this. But, then it doesn’t mean that I believe in praying. I find so many contradictions. If God is omnipotent and present all around, I don’t find meaning in going to a temple or a religious place. If you believe that it was God you created you, then don’t you believe that God would know what you want. Paradoxes, aren’t they?

Anyway, I like going to temples for I often find some peace of mind. The most important thing is that the temple should be quiet. There are a few temples where you go and the next thing you want to do is come out, for the place would be completely chaotic. If people believe that it is where they can find solutions, then it is good for them.

Sentiments are also part of our belief system. Many people might have some crazy sentiments. But it is so important for them. If they don’t do it and they fail, the failed act often comes back to haunt them. You know, ‘You would be very rational when it comes to others, but when it comes to you….’ Think about it.

There are lot of other belief systems like Astrology, Numerology, Horoscope, signs and zodiacs. People go to an expert and if it happens right, then they develop deep beliefs. But then, I don’t think any of these experts would be 100% right. For if they are right, they would be Gods who can predict the future.

Beliefs are Psychological in nature. They create a system for you to survive in. You feel there is something beyond you and you can follow some footpaths.

Respecting others beliefs is more important. Don’t hurt them, just because you don’t believe in that belief. Going to temple for the sake of love is not going to cost you anything. Obliging to some sentiments doesn’t affect you. When people force you to go beyond a certain limit, stop. I have often seen people doing things for sake of doing and ending up having a firm belief on something. It gives them a strong grip on life.

My belief is a thought. I always believe in the thought that ‘Whatever happens, happens for a reason’. You might believe in anything – God, Devil, Person, Sentiment, Thought. But, do remember that other people believe in something different and that is important for them. Don’t hurt their beliefs.

When I was working for an assignment, I found these beautiful lines by Fritz Perls. It is known as ‘Gestalt Prayer’

I do my thing and you do your thing.
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,
And you are not in this world to live up to mine.
You are you, and I am I,
and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful.
If not, it can't be helped.

Happy Reading!

P.S: This post has evolved from conversations I had with my friends, parents and even myself. 

Interesting Behaviors!

Hi Guys,

Are people inherently Good? Are people inherently bad? Well, I don’t know. I believe that there is a bit of good in every bad and vice versa. But, I do believe that people are inherently interesting. The way people do things, behave or act can be very intriguing. Everyone has got some individuality in them and I don’t judge people based on their behavior, though I can’t avoid observing. This is a post on some of the people I have seen and known.

This incident happened when I was studying Engineering (I guess third year). I happened to be in my friend’s room one evening. A few other friends were there too and we were just having some random conversations. We decided to watch a movie and the movie was ‘Paranormal Activity 3’. One of my friends was dead scared and he said he wanted to go as he was staying alone in his room. Two of my friends forced him to stay. They started the movie, switched off the lights. And we started watching the movie. The scared friend asked, ‘Whether the movie was real?’ And actually in the title card, the director would have thanked the police department for giving records and this added to his nightmare. The movie was not that scary. But, thanks to the extra efforts made, he was so afraid to go to his room, by the end of the movie. I’m not sure how peacefully he slept that night. People who are not afraid of ghosts are actually stimulated to scare others.

This incident also happened around the same time and in the same place. It was another day and I happened to be there. My friend asked me if I am free. I said, ‘Yes’. Till date, I’m wondering why I said yes. He said he was planning to take some short films and he wanted to know my opinions on the story. He called me to the terrace. He went on to say three stories – one romance, one drama and one unconventional story. From the way he said, it was like he was nearly ready and he was going to start shooting next week. I spent 2-3 hours suggesting and arguing with him. Till date, he has not started the shooting. I’m wondering why I was the chosen candidate to say the stories.

Imagine, you are a professor. What would you do, if you ask students to solve a problem and they say the answer in order to confirm? Refer the book or refer your notes. Isn’t it? We had an interesting professor during my Engineering. She would ask us to solve problems. As usual, there would be some who would start solving immediately, some who would never even touch and some like me who would solve now and then. After some time, she would ask for answer. There used to be lot of responses. And you know, how answers would be confirmed? It would be by means of majority. Or sometimes average of different answers that arise. Sometimes, it would be more interesting when most people don’t answer. She would ask some students (4-5) and if 3 students get the same value that would be the answer. I’m still wondering how our answer papers were evaluated.

And there are lot of interesting people who we meet every day. Sometimes, we would be the interesting people for many other people. There is a friend of mine who is confused as to where he belongs to. He used to say that he was from Bhutan and now he says he is from Bhopal. When I traveled in train last time, there was passenger who kept on asking to every other passenger whether Chennai Egmore was the last stop or the train continued. He was afraid of oversleeping. A few days back, there was a passenger in a bus who refused to pay for his luggage (a sack) and headed the bus to a police station (I got in between and changed). We live in an interesting world!

Happy Reading!

P.S:

1. I was one of the two friends who forced the scared friend to stay. A self-noted interesting behavior.
2. This post in just an observation of behaviors. There are a few exaggerations in order to make the narrative interesting. If anything hurts anyone, I am sorry.

Genetic Memory - Our Preconditioned Mind

Hi Guys,

In the past few months, I have read at many places that Human Brain reacts in a manner that cannot be rationally explained in certain situations. Many psychologists explain that this may be due to ‘Genetic Memory’

What is a Genetic Memory? It is the memory that has been passed on to you from your ancestors through genes. Generally, your brain remembers things that happens to you after a certain age and makes you react to certain situations based on that. For example, read the words below

                                                Banana                                                                                 Sick

Your mind correlates an incident that happened when you were sick and ate banana or vice versa. This is because of the memory that is stored in your brain.

But, there are situations where you react for no particular reason. When you meet a new person, your mind quickly builds an impression on the person. You might think that, it is due to the memories from the past. But, actually even if you meet a new person who is so completely different, you tend to create an impression and that tends to be correct more than 90% of the times. And how long does your mind takes to build that impression – 1/5^th of a second. Amazing, isn’t it?

How does this happen? No one knows how. The most plausible explanation is that it has been passed to you by your ancestors. Remember Darwin’s ‘Survival of the fittest’. For us to survive we need to know who our enemy is and hence it has been the most important part of our evolution. This principle has been studied even candidates standing in elections. Most people select people based on their intuition and feeling. Dangerous, isn’t it? It happens in interviews too. It has been found that to correct a wrong first impression, you need nine good impressions. No doubt that it is said, ‘First Impression is the best Impression’

I am currently reading the book ‘Quiet’ by Susan Cain. In a part, she explains why humans are afraid of Public Speaking. The initial stage of Human evolution was in the forests and deserts of Africa. Humans had to be sharp to defend from Animals. Speaking was not an integral part of Human Beings for so long. It has become difficult for many people to come out suddenly and speak.

The most interesting concept from ‘Genetic Memory’ is ‘Loss Aversion’. Human Beings have been conditioned to avoid Losses. It again goes back to the Darwinian Theory. To survive, you cannot lose something. Loss Aversion works in many interesting ways. Consider an example – A dangerous virus has spread in a hospital. You have two different drugs with the following outcome

A: 100 people can be saved

B: 20% probability that 500 people can be saved

Which option would you choose? Most people would go with Option A. Now consider the options C, D

C: 400 people would die

D: 80% probability that 500 would die

Now which option would you choose? Most people would choose Option D. Interestingly options A and C are same as well as B and D are same. When it comes to survival, we choose the definite one and when it comes to loss, we tend to choose a more probabilistic one.

It reflects in our day today behavior. Before entering into a work, we are neutral. But after entering the work, you tend to think more about positives of the work. Daniel Kahneman in his book ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ would have described a beautiful situation. There are twin brothers A and B. When they join work, they are given two options – ‘One extra leave per month or additional salary of $1000’. But only one person can opt for an option. Initially, both options seem equal to the brothers. After some time, the firm says if they want to interchange their positions, they can. Now, the option with one extra leave means losing $1000 and it doesn’t look good. Similarly, losing an extra day off also doesn’t sound good. So, they remain in their positions.

It has been found that, in such situations, the loss looks highly valuable and human mind wants something 2.5 times its size to compensate (i.e. $2500 for the extra leave or 2.5 days leave for the extra $1000). Intriguing, isn’t it? That is why we often find out the advantage other people have. But, if we are put into that position, we forget the advantages and speak about the sufferings. Our mind reminds us of the things we lose and not what we gain.

It is interesting to know, how deeply ingrained our thought process is, isn’t it? As Brad Pitt once said, ‘I’m one of those people you hate because of Genetics. That is the truth’

Happy Reading!